On Intimacy

I can be gentle, understanding and warm

It seems.

Yet also distant, reflective

In dreams

Of what I thought my world should be,

Though lacking support and not led.

And didn't I wish I could keep it so,

In spite of what others have said.

I've spent many years thinking, obsessing,

Believing I knew a truth

Which would strengthen, protect me and guide me

O'er the countless days since youth.

But assaults have come on my borders,

So they've been somewhat drawn in;

A little close but comfortable,

Secure, once solid; now thin.

I need, desire and want you first friend

To teach me sustainable caring;

What I need to know and accept, so to be

More understanding, open and sharing.

So please cross over these borders

And share what you're willing to say.

Talk about us and what we've been through,

And why we should not throw it away.

We're so much alike, yet so different.

Can we know that and not make a fuss?

Learn from each other, share with each other,

Somehow be with each other, just us?

And back to my wishing for mendings

Which I hope we can talk about soon;

Our traditions and tendings, beginnings and endings.

Are you willing to give me some room

To be back in your life, so surprising?

I know you found strength to let go

When you thought I had exorcised caring,

But just needed to find new ways to grow.